1). On medium heat, melt butter in a large non stick frying pan. Chop up mushrooms, throw into the pan and cook until brown. I usually eat a whole heap of them before they've even cooked, so I usually need to cut up extra mushrooms. (Mmm.. butter mushies are the best!).
2). While the mushrooms are cooking, finely slice onions. So many people do this with a blunt knife and end up cutting themselves, so please try to use a decent sharp one. Throw a little olive oil in the pan, add garlic and cook onions until brown.
3). Cut bacon into thin strips, cook in pan.
4). Chop tomatoes into cubes, throw into pan.
5). If you have purple basil, chop 1 handful of leaves, along with 1 handful of baby spinach and place in pan, stiring occasionally.
6). Add chilli, salt & pepper, oregano, and pesto, mix well. Wait at least 10 minutes before you add anything else, as the flavours need to infuse. Add a dash of red wine. I usually buy a bottle of Lambrusco and get a little bit tipsy before I've even finished cooking. As tempting as it may be, do not add more wine to the sauce! Wait another 10-15 mins, stirring occasionally as there is nothing worse than burnt suace throughout your pasta.
7). If the sauce is too bitter, add a little ABC to sweeten it. If you then make it too sweet, as a little tomato sauce and bbq sauce until you get it just right.
8). Pour the cream into the sauce, mix, wait for it to boil and thicken.
9). In another pot, boil water and cook pasta to packet directions, drain and run under hot water.
10). Pasta sauce should be ready by now. Serve hot with pasta and dinner rolls.